The Hotel Room

I had an idea for a series of commercials that some chain of hotels, like Holiday Inn or Best Western, could do. It follows the basic format of celebrity endorsement, with a twist that I think will be very successful. Here's a sample run.

EXT. HOTEL

A nice shot of the outside of the hotel, in bright sunshine, with a few scattered clouds

DESK CLERK
Thanks for choosing us, sir.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY
The camera shows a side view of SHAQUILLE O'NEAL receiving a hotel key from a young female DESK CLERK

DESK CLERK
Here's your key. I really hope you enjoy your stay, Mr.O'Neal
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL accepts the key

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL
Thank you, I'm sure I will.

DESK CLERK
Tommy will show you to your room.

DESK CLERK gestures off-screen. SHAQUILLE O'NEAL turns. The camera changes to his point of view to show TOMMY WISEAU, dressed as a bellhop. Cue theme to The Room.

TOMMY WISEAU
Oh hai, Shaq!

Camera cuts briefly to SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, looking bemused.

TOMMY WISEAU
So let's go to your room, hah?

INT ELEVATOR
TOMMY WISEAU struggles to get luggage cart into elevator.

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL
Do you need a hand with that?

TOMMY WISEAU
Don't worry about it!

INT HOTEL HALLWAY
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL walks down the hall alongside TOMMY WISEAU, who's pushing the slightly damaged luggage cart.

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL
So then he says, "If I'd known you were on the Lakers, I would have charged you double!"

TOMMY WISEAU
Hahaha, what a story!

INT HOTEL ROOM

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL enters his room, followed by TOMMY WISEAU. The camera is focused on the two actors, not showing the room.

TOMMY WISEAU
Well, here you go!

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL
Thanks, but isn't this unusual for a hotel room?

Camera cuts to shot of the hotel room, which is dressed to resemble the apartment from The Room.

TOMMY WISEAU
It looks just fine to me. Anyway, enjoy your stay in THE ROOM.

Cut to splashscreen of the hotel's logo.

INT Hotel Room

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL fishes in his pocket for something.

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL
Oh here, a little something for you...

TOMMY WISEAU
Don't worry about it! A-hahahaha!

FADE TO BLACK as TOMMY WISEAU continues to laugh.

-Long Days and Pleasant Nights